Mad World
by The 11th Doctor's Mermaid Sam
Summary: And I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad the dreams in which I'm dying  Are the best I've ever had


Mad World By Tears For Fears.

_All around me are familiar faces_

_Worn out places_

_Worn out faces_

Everyday Rachel Berry went to school, and every day, she came home tortured. It was the same faces, same people, same uniform and eventually they just blurred together her mind.

_Bright and early for the daily races_

_Going nowhere_

_Going nowhere_

Every morning, she either got her fathers to drop her to school, she walked or she got the bus. Generally she walked, because her fathers were hardly at home, and the kids on the bus pushed her and pulled at her.

Every morning she sat on the bus or in the car, and saw the morning rush to get to work and school and anywhere they needed to go. No cars moved. Traffic jam. Going nowhere anytime soon.

_Their tears are filling up their glasses _

_No expression_

_No expression_

The first time Rachel Berry saw somebody after one of their relatives died, they were drinking a glass of water. They had seemed happy afterwards, and she told her fathers. They had told her that the girl had been drinking in happiness.

The girls eyes remained vacant.

_Hide my head_

_I wanna drown my sorrow_

_No tomorrow_

_No tomorrow_

Sometimes all of the trouble, all of the taunts would get to her, and she'd contemplate just dunking her head in the bath water she'd be using, and just not coming back for more. No more taunts, no more pornographic pictures, no more anything. But then she realises drowning just isn't dramatic enough for her.

_And I find it kind of funny_

_I find it kind of sad_

_The dreams in which I'm dying _

_Are the best I've ever had_

The first time she dreamed of killing herself was after Finn had kissed her in the bowling alley to get her to come back to glee. For once, she hadn't woken up crying, or screaming, or whimpering. And she smiled.

_I find it hard to tell you_

_I find it hard to take_

_When people run it circles_

_Its a very very _

_Mad world_

She was the only one in the Glee club not to have any other friends. Kurt, Mercedes, Tina and Artie had each other. Quinn, Santana and Brittany had each other. Matt, Mike, Puck and Finn had each other. They ran in those circles, and nobody would accept her into theirs.

_Mad world_

_Mad world_

_Mad world_

The world infuriated her sometimes. It just made her mad! Why couldn't she just have one thing to lean on in her life? Was that too difficult to ask?

_Children waiting for the day they feel good_

_Happy birthday_

_Happy birthday_

_Made to feel the way_

_Every child should_

_Sit and listen _

_Sit and listen_

It was the one day of the year her fathers, both of them made sure to be there on. It made her feel happy, just for that 6 hour period, after school, before they had to leave. It made her feel normal, made her forget the rest of the year, all of the other problems she faced were forgotten, and she had a family.

Then they left again, and it was back to waiting for another year.

_Went to school and I was very nervous_

_No one knew me_

_No one knew me_

No one at McKinley School actually knew her. Nobody had taken the time to get close to her to actually discover what she was like. And she could admit, she didn't bother much with other people in that regard either.

So nobody knew her, and she became the loser that all the cheerleaders, and jocks slushied everyday.

_Hello teacher_

_Tell me whats my lesson_

_Look right through me _

_Look right through me_

None of the teachers could stand her. She was too opinionated, she was too domineering, and she was too smart. They certainly didn't like her and detested having her in their classes. They ignored her arm hovering in the air until they could ignore her no longer and with a sigh would ask, 'Yes. Rachel?'

_And I find it kind of funny_

_I find it kind of sad_

_The dreams in which I'm dying _

_Are the best I've ever had_

The second time she dreamed of it was after breaking up with Puck. He could have been an amazing boyfriend, if only the both of them hadn't liked their half of the resident power couple. She had felt guilty, and angry at herself. The first and only time she cut herself. That she resolved to make a goal.

_I find it hard to tell you_

_I find it hard to take_

_When people run it circles_

_Its a very very _

_Mad world_

_Mad world_

_Mad world_

_Mad world_

When she'd tried to join circles, or groups they're ignored her totally, and pushed her out. So she made her own circle. Her own group. Full of just herself.

_And I find it kind of funny_

_I find it kind of sad_

_The dreams in which I'm dying _

_Are the best I've ever had_

The last time she dreamed of killing herself was after the Run Joey Run video. Jesse had just sort of broken up with her, sort of not. She found that she just didn't care anymore. Not about stardom, not about her future, not about Jesse. Not about Finn or Quinn or Puck or any of the others in New Directions.

_I find it hard to tell you_

_I find it hard to take_

_When people run it circles_

_Its a very very _

_Mad world_

_Mad world_

_Enlarge your world_

_Mad world_

Jesse came back after Spring Break, and found her.

She'd broken her goal.


End file.
